Aw, Pat.........what are you doing all the way over there? You must be freezing......and you've lost your pants! Come back to Bikini Bottom, we miss you!
I am told by a reliable source that this critter is a type of coral called "Dead man's fingers" EEW, HOW GROSS! The same reliable source also thinks that the peat on Roseisle Beach is tar...........it isn't, it's peat, isn't it Mrs Great Dane?!
I will not do unmentionable things to my stuffies when we have company. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. The bin man is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the muddy rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will also stop throwing up behind doors. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. Cat litter is not food. I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the garden or park after processing. The nappy bucket is not my cookie jar. I will not wake Mum up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am haemorrhaging. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. Neither do we have a police car, a lion or Alan Carr. I will not steal my Mum's underwear and dance all over the garden with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mum & Dad's laps. My head does not belong in the fridge. Or the dishwasher. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mum's driver's license and car registration. Stealing Ex-Lax from the medicine cabinet is not big and it's not clever.
Things you humans would do well to remember........
If you bought it, it's mine. If I like it, it's mine. If I saw it first, it's mine. If you put it down, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine Whether you gave it to me or not, it's mine. If it looks like mine, it's mine. If it's edible, it's mine. If I can reach it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If it doesn't fit in my mouth, i'll chew at it till it fits, then it's mine. If I chew it up, all the pieces are mine. If I get bored of it, it's yours....but if I want it back, it's mine.
4 sniffy tailwags:
Aw, Pat.........what are you doing all the way over there? You must be freezing......and you've lost your pants! Come back to Bikini Bottom, we miss you!
I love your blog!
Full of my two favourite things... nature and beagles and a great sense of humour!
cheers from
your Canadian fans :)
oops that was my three favourite things....
I am told by a reliable source that this critter is a type of coral called "Dead man's fingers" EEW, HOW GROSS!
The same reliable source also thinks that the peat on Roseisle Beach is tar...........it isn't, it's peat, isn't it Mrs Great Dane?!
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